Funny Christmas Wishes: In this article, you will see 300+ Funny Christmas Wishes, Messages, and Greetings.
At Christmas, happiness covers everything like snow covers the ground in winter. Now is the time to party like never before. And nothing will get you in the holiday spirit like a funny Christmas wish. With these funny Christmas wishes, you can spread the joy of the holiday to everyone.Information Guide Nigeria
Here are some funny Christmas wishes that will make your loved ones laugh. So, don’t be afraid to put some funny jokes in your Christmas texts and send them to people you care about. Here are some funny Christmas greetings and wishes that you may be looking for this year.
Funny Christmas Wishes
I hope your smiles this Christmas are as big as your credit card bill, Happy holidays!
Christmas really is full of wonderful things. It makes me lose all of my money. That’s the magic of Christmas; Happy Holidays!
I hope Santa puts cash in our socks instead of toys and gifts. I know you want the same thing. Merry Christmas to you!Funny christmas wishes
The whole point of Christmas is to spend time with good people. So make sure you spend all day tomorrow with me. Happy Christmas, honey!
Your Christmas should be as fat, happy, and full as Santa’s. Happy Holidays!
Enjoy Christmas until Santa puts your name on the list of bad kids. Have a wonderful holiday!
Most of the time, Christmas is for kids. But even adults can enjoy it until the credit card bills come.
Don’t forget to smile and have fun. Because after Christmas, no one will care if you live or die.
I finally know what Christmas is really about: it’s for people who can’t spell Christmas.
May your name not be on Santa’s list of bad kids this year! Wishing you and your family a happy and blessed holiday season.
I hope Santa doesn’t find out about all the things you’ve been hiding. Happy Christmas, sweetheart!
Just wanted you to know that there is no way Santa will put you on his good list this year. Happy holidays to you!
Some people have a great year, and some bad people are in bad years. Are you sad yet? Just kidding. May you have a lot of fun this Christmas!
I asked Santa to give you wings for Christmas so you could fly away and never be seen again. Just kidding. Happy Holidays!
You know your life stinks when you have to wait all year for Santa to bring you gifts because no one else cares to give you anything.
This Christmas, it’s all about how special you feel. I hope you drink so much this Christmas that you forget how much of a loser you are.
One important rule about Christmas is that you can eat all the sweet treats as long as you brush your teeth afterward. Happy Holidays!
Santa Claus is real, and during the holidays, he has to work. What a sad story!
May you make it through the priest’s boring sermon and come to the party as soon as you can. Happy Holidays!
No one’s Christmas wish ever comes true, which is why everyone makes them every year. It’s just a tradition to make Christmas wishes! Happy Holidays!
I hope that your Christmas party is big and that your bill is small. Have a happy holiday!
Read Also: 300+ Inspirational Christmas Messages that Touches the Heart
Funny Christmas Messages
Christmas is not just a time to pray and sing praises. But also to get drunk and mess around. Happy Holidays and New Year!
Dear God, I planned to do something green for Christmas this year. So if you understand, please send me a lot of money for Christmas. Thank you!
Christmas is a time for love and goodwill. So let’s drink the spirit to feel love. Merry Christmas!
Santa told me you were very good this year, but I told him it was just because you didn’t have enough chances. Happy Holidays!
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, and a kiss isn’t a kiss unless tongues are involved. So open your mouth, shut your eyes, and work out your tongue! Happy Holidays!
The best gifts for Christmas are those that come straight from the heart. On the other hand, money and gift cards also work! Happy Holidays!
Christmas is a time to think about family and try to figure out how big everyone is. Merry Christmas to you!
Santa spent a long time looking at a painting of a woman who was naked and had leaves covering her body. Santa asked her what she was doing, and she told him that she was waiting for fall.
I wrapped your Christmas gift in paper that said “Happy Birthday” by accident. So I wrote “to Jesus” on it. Happy Holidays!
At least six or seven times better than anywhere else, Christmas is always at my house. We drink right away. We’ll see six or seven Santa Clauses while everyone else only sees one.
There are four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
I think that Santa should hire giants instead of elves so he can make gifts faster. Have a good holiday!
A Christmas reminder: don’t try to borrow money from elves because they never have enough. Merry Christmas to you!
Dear Santa, I’ll give you the cure for those poison cookies you just ate if you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list. Thank you.
Hey, you two! That old guy with a beard and his silly reindeer are over there. We’re here to bring you holiday cheer and to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Santa put batteries under the tree and wrote, “Due to budget cuts, toys are not included.”
Is Santa so busy that he doesn’t have time to clean up? I think he should get rid of that beard.Duties of A Clinical Psychologist
I’ve kept some photos at home, so if you want to drink and pray instead of going to church, you can do that here. And the priest won’t bore you with long sermons. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Everyone knows that spending time with family you don’t see very often is the most important part of Christmas. Then you have an excuse to ignore them for the rest of the year.
Funny Christmas Wishes for Him
So incredibly happy to spend Christmas with you! Looking forward to having some funny times with you.
Someone got up very early to check their socks. It’s good for the socks, and it’s also good for my morning.
I’d say that the only thing I want for Christmas is YOU, but I’d also love a new credit card.
Santa already gave me what I had been asking for for so long. Now I want him to do the same for you. Happy Holidays!20 Best Cuff Links and their Prices in Nigeria
On this holiday, I’m sending you lots of warm wishes and good luck. Take my heart, and don’t forget to bring me gifts tonight. Happy Holidays!
If you throw a snowball at me, I’ll start a war. Let’s make this Christmas the best one ever! Happy holidays to you!
I wish Santa would put candy in your socks and money in your wallet. Have a warm and nice holiday, my love. Happy holidays to you!
Funny Christmas Wishes for Her
If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will bring you a box of chocolates for sure. Happy Holidays!
You are too young to go out with your friends to clubs. This Christmas, pray for gifts from Santa or a date. Cutie, merry Christmas to you!
This Christmas, have a good time and feel the magic. Watch as money goes missing and I lose my mind. Happy Holidays!
It’s not cool to wish for a fat guy with a beard to come visit me at night. I would rather see you in a red dress. Happy Holidays!
Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas. When I told him your name, he told me that you were already in his heart. Happy Holidays!
I don’t have any money to buy you anything for Christmas, but I always have time to spend with you. I love you!
Except for you and Santa, everything gets old. Happy holidays, my love. Warm Christmas wishes are on their way to you!
Read Also: 500+ Merry Christmas Messages & Wishes, Quotes for Lover, Friends, Family
Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends
I just wanted to let you know that Santa will not be giving you anything this year. Happy Holidays!
Stop asking Santa for gifts and give them to the kids around you instead. Suits your age. Happy Holidays!
Your Christmas should be full of big smiles and fun, but not a big belly. Happy Holidays!
You’ve reached an age where you really need to decide if you believe in Santa or not. Man, grow up. Happy Holidays!
Good luck wishing people things that aren’t even possible from someone who doesn’t exist. Have a wonderful Christmas!
This year, I hope you have a white Christmas. If you run out of the white one, just remember that I have a lot of red ones. Happy holidays, friend!
Just now, I got some bad news. Santa’s heart stopped beating. This year, was your name on the good list because you died?
Only at Christmas is it cool to eat candy out of your socks. Good luck with your old socks and candy that has gone bad. Happy Holidays!
May you be able to sit through the boring sermon and come to the party soon. Have a wonderful holiday!
If you throw a snowball at me, I’ll start a war. Make this Christmas the best one we’ve ever had! Happy Holidays!
Santa told me, “This year, you’re on the good list.” I told him it was just a matter of not having enough chances. Just kidding! Have a great holiday season!
Funny Christmas Wishes For Wife
The real magic of Christmas is when you spend all my money and I don’t know what happened. You really are a blessing who happens to be my wife.
I wrapped your Christmas present in paper that said “Happy Birthday” by mistake. I then added “to Jesus.” Happy holidays, honey!
Isn’t Christmas a time to think about family and try to guess how big everyone is? Happy Holidays!
It’s not nice to get a late-night visit from a fat guy with a beard. I would rather see you in a red dress. Happy Christmas, sweetheart!
The time has come for every rich husband in the world to finally go bankrupt. Merry Christmas to all the lovely wives in the world!
From what I’ve seen of you this year, you’ve been a good girl. Merry Christmas, sweetheart!
Don’t spend all your money in one day on this wonderful holiday. Happy Holidays!
For you, Christmas may be a time to celebrate, but for me, it’s a time to try my hardest to save every penny I made this year and make it to the next.
Read Also: 500+ Romantic Good Morning Text Messages and Quotes for Her
Funny Christmas Wishes For Husband
May you not spend all your money on Christmas gifts, but please find me a good deal. Dear husband, I love you.
Santa told you that you’ve been good this year. So, he will give you free coupons to clean the house and find random things. Good luck, honey.
Jesus, happy birthday! I can already hear you yelling for your treasure box gift from me. I also love you.
Merry Christmas, my true love! I like that I’m not the only one washing dishes after our fancy Christmas dinners. Love you.
Our plans for Christmas are to have the most fun we can and then pray until our credit card bills come and rip us off. Happy Xmas!
I wanted to be around good people, not people who make me feel bad. But Santa said that offer wasn’t for people who were already married.
I only want YOU for Christmas, but since I already have you, thanks ahead of time for the hot chocolate on Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas, dear husband!
Funny Christmas Wishes For Girlfriend
Dear girlfriend, I hope you won’t have to pretend to be surprised this year when you get my gift. Wishing you a great year ahead.
Having you with me this Christmas means more than anything else. Extra bills, extra food, extra love, extra everything. Love you no matter what.
I pray to God that you have a wonderful Christmas. Like your favorite pie. This holiday season, I’m dying to try that.
I hope you won’t waste too much time and do dangerous sports this Christmas. Love you, my ladybug. Don’t drink so much that you pass out. Thanks.
You don’t need Santa to give you special gifts as long as I’m around. I am your all-year-long Santa. Woman, be thankful. Love you.
I hope that when Santa comes at midnight, he wraps you up in a box and gives you to me as my Christmas present. This Christmas, that would be the best gift for me.
I wrote a letter to Santa telling him that I’ve been bad all year because of you. Now I’m waiting to hear back from Santa. Happy Holidays!
May you spend Christmas eating sweets and cakes, but don’t forget to brush your teeth. Have a happy Christmas!
Because I didn’t get my late-night kiss, Christmas has been put off. So, if you want to celebrate Christmas, you have to hug me. Happy Holidays!
Funny Christmas Wishes For Boyfriend
At Christmas, you should be with nice people. So make plans to spend Christmas with me the whole time. Happy Christmas, sweetheart!
I’d like to say that all I want for Christmas is you, but I also want a new credit card. Happy Christmas, honey!
Santa doesn’t have your name on either the “naughty” or “nice” list. So I told him to look for your name on his list of men who are handsome. He’ll find it there, I’m sure!
With your big stomach and long beard, you look like Santa Claus these days. Guess what, next year you’re going to the gym! Merry Christmas!
Take my love for Christmas and don’t forget to bring me presents. Happy Holidays!
Happy Christmas, sweetie! May Santa fill your socks with winning lottery tickets.
I think of Santa every time I see you. Except for his long white beard, you have a lot in common with that big, fat, stupid guy. Happy Christmas, sweetheart!
This Christmas, there’s only one rule you need to follow: don’t drink too much if I’m not there to carry you home! Happy Holidays!
Funny Christmas Messages For Colleagues
Dear coworker, I hope you’ll stop thinking about work during the holidays so you can enjoy them with us. Joking, have a happy Christmas.
I hope you have a white Christmas where you can forget about everything and let the snow wash away all your problems.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you! Hope you won’t stop giving me hard time at work in the coming year. JOKING. Good luck.
Happy Christmas, sweetheart! We didn’t play secret Santa this year, but if we had, we would have given you a clock so you could get to work faster.
Since the rest of the year was kind of boring, I hope that Christmas is really busy for you. Have a tremendous time. Love, lots of it.
I hope you get to eat and drink a lot during the holidays. Get lost and have a little bit more fun. Happy holidays to you, my dear coworker!
Read Also: 300+ Flirty Christmas messages for him (boyfriend, husband, Zaddy)
Funny Christmas Greetings
I know you are grumpy, but I hope you have a happy Christmas! All the best to you!
Even though it’s hard to smile when your wallet is empty, Merry Christmas and good luck getting your kids what they want!
Time to enjoy the holidays, spend some real money, and realize that all we ever wanted from Santa was money.
Please let Jesus come to church on Christmas and bless the people there. If he sees you there, he might not. So come on over and let’s have a party; Merry Christmas!
Have a happy Christmas! I can see that you’ve done a great job decorating. I don’t think your credit card bill will look as nice as your decorations, though.
I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you’re getting fatter than Santa Claus. Even Santa would say this to you because you are so fat. Happy Holidays!
I think Santa must fly instead of using a sleigh to get to me faster. When I was waiting for him, I often fell asleep.
Whoever thinks men and women are the same has never seen a man try to wrap a Christmas gift.
You can have a great Christmas as long as my gifts are on my doorstep when I get home. Enjoy yourself!
Funny Christmas Quotes
“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening
“You better watch out, You better not cry, Better not pout, I’m telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town.” – Haven Gillespie
“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
“Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.” – Melanie White
“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller
“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” – Bridger Winegar
“Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy’.” – Robert Paul
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.” – Don Marquis
“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.” – Richelle Goodrich
“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney
“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking? – Arlo Guthrie
“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.” – Katharine Whitehorn
“Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.” – Sean Hughes
Christmas is about a lot more than just putting up trees, having fun with friends, and eating Christmas treats until we’re full. It’s about making other people feel the same happiness and joy that we do. Without Christmas wishes, Christmas wouldn’t be as fun. Funny Christmas wishes are the best way to make someone laugh this holiday season. So, send your friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, or husband/wife funny Christmas wishes, texts, and quotes to make them laugh.
Christmas is a great time to send jokes and funny messages. Don’t miss out on the chance to make your loved ones laugh by sending them a funny Christmas message. You could also use these as funny Christmas card messages if you wanted to. These funny Christmas wishes are beautifully written and will make your Christmas card stand out.
63 Funny Christmas Card Messages, Wishes and Greetings
Christmas is HERE and that means it’s time to send all your friends and family a Christmas card. But why send a boring old card with your messy signature at the bottom like everyone else? With these 63 funny ways to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, your card will be at the top of the card tree.
Read Also: 100+ very short love messages to melt her heart in 2022
Classically Unclassic
2. “Decorate the halls with holly branches. Fa-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr. Happy Holidays and New Year! XOXO to and from the North Pole.”
3. “Santa Baby, I just wanted to wish you a Merry White Christmas and hope you have fun Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. This year, all I want is to take a sleigh ride with you. It is, after all, the most wonderful time of the year! I only want YOU for Christmas!”
Magical Christmas Wishes
5. “May your holidays be full of puppy cuddles, cheesy Christmas movie marathons, festive drinks, and good cheer! Happy Holidays! Love and warmth are sent. Hugs your way!”
6. “I couldn’t pay for a stripper for you two, but this is close, right? We wish we could spend Christmas together! We hope you have a wonderful Christmas!”
7. “Merry Christmas from cold Richland, Washington. Happiness and blessings in the year 2022.”
Naughty List
9. “Have you heard the one about Santa staring at a painting of a naked woman with leaves all over her body? When Mrs. Claus asked him what he was waiting for, he said, “Autumn.” “What a BAD Santa!”
10. “I just found out something bad. Santa’s heart stopped beating. This year, was your name on the good list because you died? Happy Holidays!”
11. “I hope it snows on Christmas for you this year. But if you run out of the white one, keep in mind that I have a lot of the red one. “Merry Christmas, buddy!”
12. “Sure, being on the Nice List gets you more gifts, but being on the Naughty List is its own reward. This Christmas, may you be surrounded by Ho’s!”
13. “I left something for Santa. Cookies, I mean!”
Give a Gift
When you were young, did you ever give cute little coupon books as gifts? The better version is a handwritten card with a coupon for the best gift of the year.
14. “This card gives you free babysitting for 5 days. You can go on a date, take a day trip, or go on a longer trip. If you don’t redeem within a year, you might have to pay a fine. Thanks for everything you do for me!”
15. “Don’t worry if someone drags you out of your house, ties a bow around you, and throws you in a sack. Santa is just granting my Christmas wish!”
Christmas Jokes
17. “What did the donkey do when Santa’s sleigh cut him off? HEE-HAWnked! ”
18. “Knock, knock! Who is it? Mary. Mary…? Mary, Jesus! ”
19. “Who brings gifts to cats?” Santa Paws! ”
20. “What do Santa’s little helpers get called? Clauses in the Background! ”
21. “What do you call a child who won’t sit on Santa’s lap? Claustrophobic! ”
22. “What did the wise men say after they gave gold and frankincense as gifts? “Wait, there’s myrrh here.”
23. “If your car breaks down on Christmas Eve, what should you do? “Take a mistletoe.”
24. “In school, what was Santa’s favorite subject? Chemistree.”
25. “What does “Oh, oh, oh” mean? Santa walking backwards.”
26. “What’s the deal with Santa’s three gardens? So he can say, “Ho, ho, ho!” ”
27. “What does Miley Cyrus eat during the holidays?” Twerky! ”
28. The beaver asked the Christmas tree, “What did you say?” Nice gnawing you! ”
29. “What do reindeer put on their Christmas tree? Horn-aments! ”
30. “Who is Santa’s favorite musician? Presley like an elf! ”
31. “What do the elves do the day after Christmas to clean Santa’s sleigh? They put Santa-tizer to use! ”
What we suggest:
The Christmas Money Tree
33. “They say the best Christmas presents are those that come from the heart… Cash and gift cards are also great. Here’s a small gift to help you get through the holidays. Happy Holidays!”
34. “We hope your Christmas costs less! We wish you a Christmas that costs less. We hope you have a cheaper Christmas and start the new year without any debt. “Cheers to a Christmas that doesn’t break the bank!”
35. “Christmas is a wonderful time, but it eats up all of my savings!” That’s the magic of Christmas, LOL. This year, don’t give the kids too many gifts. Happy Holidays!”
It’s a Beaut, Clark!
37. “Unlike Clark Griswold, we didn’t have to drive for hours to the forest, walk through waist-deep snow, and risk our eyes freezing to find the perfect tree. But it’s perfect, just like Clark!”
38. “I went to the store, sat on Santa’s lap, and asked him to bring all kinds of crap for my FRIENDS. Monica, Monica, happy Hanukkah to you! When they saw Santa Claus, he told them to say hi to Ross and tell Joey that Christmas would be snowy. And Rachel and Chandler, ha ha la handler!!”
39. “Singing loudly for everyone to hear is the best way to spread Christmas cheer!” — Bud, the Elf
Santa Baby
41. “Ho, ho, holy sh*t!” I love you so much! Oh, and Happy Holidays!”
42. “Ho-Ho-Bro! Your favorite sister is here to say Merry Christmas! Don’t forget to keep playing Christmas music until next year… and eggnog with rum added. You know, the way your dad taught you!”
43. “Oh friend. You’re doing great. But you are also a whore. But, like, she’s cool! “Merry Fucking Christmas, you scumbag!”
A Stress-Free Christmas
45. “The best part of Christmas for some people is when it’s all over! I hope your Christmas is as stress-free as it can be!”
46. “Christmas is the only time I buy nuts, and it’s the only time I feel like I might lose my mind. This holiday season, may you stay sane!”
47. “Happy Holidays! May your eggnog have enough rum in it to get you through the holiday. And don’t forget to switch out the alcohol for coffee and other caffeinated drinks every now and then, or you’ll turn into a real Grinch!”
48. “Whoever said “All is Calm” has never spent Christmas at our house… I hope the kids aren’t driving you too crazy. Happy Holidays!”
What we suggest:
We Wish You a Punny Christmas
Whether you want to wish your Ninjabread Man a Jingle Bell Guac, get all the Jingle Ladies under the Mistle-Toad, or sing a Fleece Navidad to Santa Jaws, a punny Christmas card is a great way to say “Peas on Earth” to all your Christmas friends.
49. “Merry Christmas to the only person I care about. You RING my bells, DECORATE my halls, make my world happy, and SLEIGH me. I love you with everything I have, and I can’t wait to see you again. Muah!”
50. “Say, ‘Kitties, we love you,’ when we’re not around. SLEIGH our name, SLEIGH our name. You seem kind of angry, go to the bakery, why all of a sudden do you want something? SLEIGH our name, SLEIGH our name. We wish we could be with you because we love you so much. Better SLEIGH our name.”
51. “Oh crap, I misspelled another word. I wanted to say “wish you were BEER.” You know I can spell like a WHORE. Happy Holidays!”
52. “MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you have a happy and bright holiday. When my HOOMAN BEAN goes to see her PAW-rents, she and I like to watch your videos.
53. “You’re MEOWzing! I wish I could spend the PAWlidays with you because I’ve heard you make a great tuna salad. Happy FISHmas and MEW year!”
54. “On Christmas Eve, don’t forget to put out the fire in your fireplace, or you’ll be sorry when you wake up to a CRISP Kringle.” Have a FANTASTIC Christmas!”
55. “Merry Christmas, you scumbags! Hope all of you are doing well this holiday season.
56. “It’s a SNOW joke, I’m s-MITTEN with you! We really did fall in love at first sight, and our chemistry is great. Let’s cuddle up in front of a fire, CLAUS. I’ve been pining for you all day. We were BORN to be! Happy Christmas, little one!”
57. “I wish my favorite HO HO HO! We can’t wait to celebrate the holidays with all our JINGLE ladies and take ELFIES with our GRINCH faces while they are resting. You KNOW the drill, so get ready to SLEIGH the season!”
58. “SLEIGH?! We heard that you won’t be home for Christmas this year. Say it ain’t SNOW! We will definitely miss you, but we still hope you have a happy Christmas. Hugs and kisses!”
Funny Christmas Quotes
61. “Santa is very happy because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller
62. “Santa has the right idea: he should only visit people once a year.” – Borge Victor
63. “Santa Claus’s suit is red, so he must be a communist.” And long hair and a beard? You must be a pacifist. “What’s he smoking in that pipe?” – Songs by Arlo Guthrie
Send a Christmas Card
Deck the halls, jingle the bells, and send your friends a funny Christmas card this year that will make them all yell “SANTA!” I know him!” and hoped that this Christmas would be merry and bright.